This Is How I Feel............

Jeremy asked me this question a couple of nights ago. "Do I make you you happy"? I have never had anyone ask me this question, especially in a relationship. I have never had anyone honestly care about how I felt, what I was feeling or just my opinion. Of course my answer was "Of course!!!" But since he has asked me that question, I have been doing a lot of thinking. Does Jeremy make me happy?..........I'll put it this way:

I am not a touchy, feely type of girl. I have never been that way! I am not emotional, sappy or cuddly! Ha ha. It's very rare that you will hear me say, "I want to cuddle" I think that I should have been a guy! Ha Ha I just have never had those emotions that "girls" are suppose to have! In saying that It's so weird how one person can change that! Since I have been dating Jeremy a lot about who I am has changed! I have never allowed anyone to just sweep me off my feet. I have always protected and guarded my heart, and for once in my life I am letting my guard down. Even in past relationships I always had my guard up. I guess it was because I'm not good with emotions and if I got hurt then I would haft to show it. So I was always hard and cold in certain areas of my life.

With Jeremy it is totally different. He has taught me and shown me how you are suppose to love someone. The way he loves me is indescribable through words! He not only does things that are just off the wall sweet, but the things that he says are breath taking! He is just an all around wonderful man.

I think that you have that one person created just for you and throughout your life you search for them. You look for them until you find them. But in my case and many others you find someone that you think you are suppose to spend the rest of your life with. You make the commitment to them, and then something bad happens in your marriage. You work through it, you yearn for the good times and try to forget the bad. But you can only do & do so much for one person. You can only be hurt so many times before you run. You can only help someone if they want help. So then what do you do? Give up? You leave and try to learn to live again. You leave and search for the person that you hope is out there for you. You wonder, did God forget about me? Is there anyone out there that can care about me? You give and give and give to someone, and in return you never receive.

After my divorce I had no clue what to do. Then here comes this sweet talking, handsome man. Jeremy totally swept me off my feet! He is an AMAZING man!!! I know that he is not the same man that others know him as. I know that he has not always been the perfect boyfriend or husband. I know this because he has told me many times. We both think that when you meet the person that you are suppose to be with that you change. Not a change that you seek, but a change that just happens! A thing that you can not control. Your heart becomes heavy for this person, and you just realize that you can not live without one another so this change happens. It changes you and the person that you once were. Things move fast, I know this. But I think that it is not something that you can take slowly. It is something that just happens and you cant stop it. You just haft to sit back and enjoy the beautiful ride!

When Jeremy and I first starting talking I was so skeptical. I thought he has to be too good to be true! But in reality he is everything that he has showed me that he is. He is wonderful! He loves me and I love him so much! He is so good with Brookelyn-Grace. He loves her to death and she loves him too! They are like best buds! It melts my heart over and over when I see him with her. He is so wonderful! He is everything that I have ever wanted and deserved! We both deserved one another! He does so much for me that its unreal! He not only waits on me hand and foot, but he does some of the most amazing things! We are so blessed to have found one another! We also have so much in common that it's scary!!! Some things that I want even mention on here! Ha ha We love golfing, we love football, we love the same foods, same movies, same music, same sayings, being funny, embarrassing people, laughing, games, painting!!! We also dislike the same things! We don't like being accused of things, lied too, jealousy....There is just so much more! I could go on and on about how much a like we really are! We are still learning so much about one another. We both love when one of us comes up with an idea and we both agree; "No Way! You like that too! Wow! That's so awesome!" I use to think that opposites attract, but I was so wrong. Jeremy and I are so much a like its kind of like were twins! Ha Ha. We have also learned that we are both hard headed, stubborn and opinionated! Ha Ha We have really good debates about things! Ha Ha. I also love that he is so smart on things! He knows things that I don't and vice versa. If he does not know something you can bet that he will find out! If that means going out, getting a book and reading on how to do something! I love that about him! Also in my past relationship I was kind of in control of everything. Money, what we did and the relationship. I have always wanted someone to be in control of things for a change & Jeremy is great at it! I'm not saying that I want someone that tells me what to do or what I can do, but I'm sure you know what I mean. Because if you know me then you know that I would NEVER let anyone tell me what to do HA HA! But he is just (***sigh***) wonderful!!! My family adores him, I adore him, Brookelyn-Grace adores him, my friends adore him. So what else is there? :) I am so unbelievably happy with my life and how it is going!!!! :)

Remember that this blog was only intended to get my feelings out because that is another thing that I am not good at. I am not good at expressing my emotions or feelings. Sometimes I will just randomly tell Jeremy how I feel about him. I know sometimes he is thinking, "Wow that was out of the blue!" Ha Ha But I have a hard time saying what I want to say or telling someone how I feel about them.